no comments..

This is stupid and I am stupid.

Like seriously.


Anyway I don't believe in talking about sad things for two reasons - I am an introvert and I feel that sharing one's sorrow will make the other party upset too. If I am not happy, why make others unhappy too? However I don't mind listening to others talk about their unhappiness as it would make them feel better. Yeah I know it is like "wow this guy is making himself out to be some noble guy etc etc." But there is something wrong with me really, I am not a no-worries-everything-is-happy-and-fine person.


Sooner or later I might just die from this but that's another story for another day.

My pace is quick through the narrow alleys. Dusk is approaching. I hear voices behind me calling my name. I hear footsteps in the distance getting louder and louder. Shadows loom and disappear. Beads of sweat trickle down from my forehead. My mind begin to wander. An occasional shriek jolts me back to reality, to the task at hand.


I take out the map from my pocket. I am very near my objective. I feel the coldness of metal rubbing against my skin underneath my shirt. I approach the door splashed with red paint, an apt marking. I draw the pistol out. A quick flick of the carriage reveals 6 bullets loaded and ready. Calmly, I push the wooden door open. It is pitch black inside. A few blinks and my eyes are accustomed to the darkness. I step in gingerly. The door closes by itself behind me, eliminating whatever little light that the opening has provided.


A familiar flowery scent drifts into the room. I know it is her. My legs start to wobble. My pistol is still pointing to the ground. Everything is blank inside my head. My heartbeat increases tenfold. I see a movement from the corner of my eye. I turn slowly and I see her standing there.


"So you have come to kill me I guess.."


My mouth is dry and my lips are frozen in place. She deftly walks towards me with a playful smile. I am still immobilized from myself. She takes the pistol out of my hands with ease and giggles. I avoid eye contact. She unloads the pistol and hands it back to me. I trudge my way out of the house, feeling a mixture of hatred and self-pity.


Back in the house, the 6 bullets lay motionlessly on the dining table. A ray of light found its way through a crack in the wall, illuminating them. A thin sparkling green lining can be seen around each of the 6 bullets. That was when she realized they were all blanks.


It was a doomed mission right from the start.

I wonder what the fuck am I doing and thinking.


But it was really mind-blowing and I can't just forget it.

It is quite crazy that nowadays everyone is scoring straight As for A levels and learning piano+ballet+taekwando+judo+tennis+squash+badminton+violin+etcetc from as young as primary 1. I mean of course there is a need to be competitive to stay ahead of others but my god.. I doubt if any kid watches cartoons these days.


Unfortunately, NS has delayed me for two years and I am going to school with the dragon babies. I heard that even A B B could not get into faculty of science in NUS. It is crazy.. I am going to compete with a lot of damn damn hardworking and smart people. Did I mention it is a bell curve scoring system too?


Why can't everyone just relax a bit you know.. all these double degree double major masters stuff is damn frightening. I wish I was rich, then I won't have to worry about all these crap.

End of French 1 and Principles of Economics modules. New module starts in 3 days. This is really screwed up. Now it is back to "hey you are?", "so what year are u in now", "oh you have a sister?" etc thing. Getting to know everyone all over again instead of cultivating longer and more lasting bonds with the same people. The latter sounds so much more appealing than making more hi-bye friends. Well maybe I will see some of my module mates in French 2.. or maybe... we will just keep in touch.

Sounds damn nostalgic and sad.. but oh well.. life is a joke.


Back to square one.

Didn't buy anything after walking through all the shops.. quite disappointed. But well shopping with cindy is always an adventure though. She finally got her Kate Moss jacket... which is pretty nice I guess.

One damn romantic, unorthodox and twisted film that will definitely relate to anyone.


anyway

vs NJC
won 4-1 (I shouldn't have played top)
won 8-1 on additional matches

I guess its the end of friendlies? No more schools to play.

your choice.

Let's make it work, one step at a time.

I think a person's name is sort of.. reflective of the person's personality/character/looks etc etc. Like for example, all the daniels I know seem to be damn smart and hardworking. All the samuels I know are quite tall. All the marcuses I know are quite rich. All the shawns/shauns I know are quite friendly. The jeffreys/geoffreys I know seem to be quite funny(in that they keep laughing). The joshuas each have something that stands out uniquely among each of them, although what stands out among each of them might differ. The only two omars I know don't seem to like their own race.


(And cindy is going to start her everyone-is-different speech on me again for sure after reading this... but still...)


Which really and often makes me wonder if there is really a higher-being overseeing everything and controlling fate. Like seriously. It is damn scary.


Especially when your name bears such a close resemblance to the very first girl I really liked.